Meaning of Suffering.

My heart has been stripped. It is made raw from the state of my physical body that is constantly working against me. I’ve thought a lot about the meaning of suffering. Why do we suffer so consistently on Earth when it appears to get in the way of our race to Heaven?

Chronic illness has made my life a battle. Last week, after months of fighting, I was admitted to the hospital for malnourishment because of my body’s inability to digest food. Now, I can no longer eat normally by mouth but rely on tube feedings. How did I get here? How is my twenty-one-year-old body working worse than many eighty-year-olds? What is the meaning of this suffering? 

A few years ago, as I was watching my family get torn apart by divorce, I was reminded of the meaning of suffering: a constant reminder that we’re not home yet. We are not home yet. Every day, we fight our failing bodies, our crippled minds, our aching hearts to put one foot in front of the other to get one step closer to Heaven. 

My mind doesn’t understand the meaning of suffering. It is angered by the constant need to fight. However, my heart knows that our suffering is a gift. It is a reminder of the incredible gift of freedom from illness, freedom from sin, freedom from divorce, freedom from financial instability, freedom from insecurity, freedom from heartbreak, freedom from every earthly hurt we experience waiting for us in Heaven. 

So I sit here, going against my mind’s desire to weep in the sorrow of the pain this life has given me and allow my heart to praise God for this reminder of my heavenly inheritance waiting for me.